everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
