i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
