Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
