got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
