I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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