did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
And then he peed in my hair
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