i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
