We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
