This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
