? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this just has baby written all over it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
