You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
