Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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