You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
