____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
