so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
