i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize