He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
