am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!