yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize