i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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