Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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