Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
