Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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