so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
