it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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