Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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