doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
