Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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