I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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