Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
