Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
