are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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