tell your sister to shave her snatch
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
