Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
