my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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