Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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