I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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