bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
