it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
