Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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