using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
