just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
