i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
