I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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