I love black thongs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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