Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
