thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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