I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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