OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
