As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
