I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
