I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
