i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
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I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.