my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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