oh god the rape fog is back!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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