I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
no you cant smoke seaweed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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