My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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