I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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