is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
