So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize