I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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