My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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