i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
