Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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