she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
