I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
be right there i have to get my cape
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
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Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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