dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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