I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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