We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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