Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
