Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
