No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
