I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize